[Guangyao was so overwhelmed by his feelings that he didn't even notice that he was no longer alone. The wracking sobs shook through him. But something about it was releasing as well. Maybe it was because he held so many of his feelings back for so many years that it was coming up so very often now. Like a dam that had been holding back so much for so very long, finally collapsing under its own weight. Be good A-Yao. Be dignified. You're a good boy, aren't you? Show them that you are an esteemed gentleman. Be a filial child.
There were so many expectations on him, and he had failed so many of them, his own hatred and resentment in the world growing. And now this. This feeling of safety and it was a false one. If they knew how ugly he was he would cease being safe. And he really wanted to be better this time around. He really did.
He startled when he felt himself being lifted up, calming down after realizing that it was Xichen. His face open and the amount of pain in his features very apparent. He looked a wreck, eyes swollen red from crying and random bits of flowers and twigs stuck in his hair.]
...Er-ge. It's not 5 am yet. I wasn't expecting you to be awake yet.
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There were so many expectations on him, and he had failed so many of them, his own hatred and resentment in the world growing. And now this. This feeling of safety and it was a false one. If they knew how ugly he was he would cease being safe. And he really wanted to be better this time around. He really did.
He startled when he felt himself being lifted up, calming down after realizing that it was Xichen. His face open and the amount of pain in his features very apparent. He looked a wreck, eyes swollen red from crying and random bits of flowers and twigs stuck in his hair.]
...Er-ge. It's not 5 am yet. I wasn't expecting you to be awake yet.